J 的 奇幻漂流

Nick Names :

If Jenny Mary Sarah go out for lunch they will call each other Jenny Mary Sarah.

If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectively refer to each other as Fat boy, Dick Head and Shit for Brains.

綽號:

如果阿美, 小玲, 小珍一起去吃午餐, 她們會稱彼此為 阿美, 小玲, 小珍.

如果 小明, 小李, 阿強 一起去吃午餐, 他們會稱彼此為 豬頭, GY人, 芭樂.

Eating Out:

When bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20,even though it’s only for $30. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

餐後付款:

當帳單來了,他們會各拿出$20, 雖然合計只需要付$30. 最後還是沒人拿出更小面額, 也沒人承認自己想要找零.

女生們一看到帳單就開始敲隨身的小計算機.

Money:

Man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

Woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need, but is on sale.

金錢觀:

男生願意為了必需品去付$2去買價值只有$1的東西.

女生願意付$1去買價值$2 的非必須品, 只因為在打折.

Bathroom:

Man has no more than 10 items

Woman has lots of items and many of them can’t be identified by a man.

浴室:

男生的浴室不會超過10樣物品.

女生的浴室裡有數不清, 但多數是男生無法辨識的物品.

Future:

Woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

Man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

未來:

女生擔心自己的未來, 直到她們結婚.

男生從不擔心自己的未來, 直到他們娶了太太.

Success:

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such man.

成功的定義:

一個成功的男人能賺錢超過他太太所能揮霍.

一個成功的女人就是能找到如上所述的成功男人.

Marriage:

Woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

Man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change but she does.

結婚

女人嫁給一個男人, 希望他能為她改變, 但他似乎不會有所改變.

一個男人娶一個女人, 希望她不要變, 可是她似乎說變就變.

Offspring:

Woman knows all about her children.

Man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

後代

女人相當了解她的小孩.

男人似乎只稍微意識到家裡多了幾個小個子.